Liz Frings

Police Counselling: Finding a Therapist Who Understands the Job

For many police officers and staff, deciding to get help is the hard part. Finding the right person comes next, and it brings its own worries. People wonder whether a therapist will understand what the job involves, whether they will be shocked by what they hear, and whether anything will get back to the force.

Those are fair worries, and the answers make a real difference to whether counselling helps. This guide covers why it matters that a therapist understands the job, where to find one, how to check they are properly qualified, what to ask before you start, and what the first sessions are usually like. Most of it applies just as much to ambulance, fire and control room staff.

Why understanding the job matters

Policing has its own culture. Officers are expected to stay calm, carry on and not be affected by what they see. Dark humour is part of how people cope, and it can sound cold or shocking to anyone outside. A therapist who reacts badly to that humour, or who needs everything explained, can lose someone in the first session.

There is a quieter problem too. A retired senior officer who now works as a therapist has written for BACP about how hard police officers find it to be on the receiving end of help. They often feel a strong urge to protect the therapist, and may hold back the worst of what they have seen or play down how it affected them (BACP, 2023). A good therapist notices that, and makes it clear they can hear whatever you need to say.

Understanding the job doesn't mean the therapist has to have done it. Some people prefer a former officer, and that can help. What matters most is that the therapist is curious about your role, doesn't make assumptions, and isn't thrown by what you tell them. In EMDR with First Responders (Luber, ed., 2015), Robbie Adler-Tapia advises therapists to start by asking clients to "tell me about your role and your assignment". Response, firearms, child protection, traffic, custody and the control room are very different jobs, and a good therapist will want to know which one is yours.

Where to find counselling

There are several routes, and they differ in cost, waiting time and how much the force is involved.

  • Through the force. Occupational health, an employee assistance programme (EAP) or the force's wellbeing service can usually arrange short-term counselling. Oscar Kilo, the National Police Wellbeing Service, supports forces with wellbeing and occupational health standards.
  • Police Care UK. The charity offers confidential counselling and psychotherapy for serving and former officers, staff, volunteers and their families who have been harmed by policing (Police Care UK).
  • The NHS. In England you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies, or ask your GP to refer you.
  • Privately. You choose the therapist and arrange it yourself, which gives you the most control over who you see and what is shared.

Each route handles information differently. If you are worried about what might go back to the force, is counselling confidential? explains the differences, and EMDR for emergency services staff has a table of routes and who pays.

Types of counselling

Counselling covers several approaches, and it helps to know the main ones.

  • Person centred counselling gives you a space to talk at your own pace, with a therapist who listens closely and doesn't direct you. It suits people who want to make sense of how the job has affected them, their relationships or their sense of who they are.
  • Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is more structured and focuses on the links between thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Trauma-focused CBT is one of the treatments NICE recommends for PTSD.
  • EMDR is a structured therapy for traumatic memories, also recommended by NICE for PTSD. EMDR for emergency services staff explains how it works with these roles.
  • Psychodynamic therapy explores how earlier experiences shape how you feel and react now.

Many therapists combine approaches. In my view, the approach matters less than whether you trust the person you are working with, which the research on the therapeutic relationship backs up.

When the role brings particular pressures

Some roles bring their own strains, and it is worth looking for a therapist who will take them seriously.

  • Firearms officers may go through post-incident procedures after a discharge and can be witnesses in long investigations. Is counselling confidential? explains how that affects therapy.
  • Officers investigating child abuse or online offences can face repeated exposure to distressing images over many years, which builds up in a way single incidents don't.
  • Family liaison officers carry other people's grief, often for months at a time.
  • Control room staff hear incidents unfold without seeing them, and rarely find out how they end. vicarious trauma in 999 call handlers explains why that matters.

Support after you leave

Some officers find the effects of the job only surface after they retire, when the routine and the team are gone. Police Care UK supports police veterans as well as serving officers and staff, and your GP can refer you to NHS services at any time. If you left on ill health grounds, life after medical retirement looks at what can help.

How to check a therapist

In the UK, counselling and psychotherapy are not regulated by law, which means anyone can call themselves a counsellor or therapist. The Professional Standards Authority accredits voluntary registers for these professions, and choosing someone on one of those registers gives you some protection (Professional Standards Authority).

  • BACP. You can check whether a counsellor is registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy on the BACP Register.
  • UKCP. The UK Council for Psychotherapy keeps its own register of psychotherapists.
  • EMDR. If you are looking for EMDR, the EMDR Association UK has a find a therapist map of its members, with their level of EMDR accreditation.

Registered members agree to an ethical framework, carry insurance and can be held to account through a complaints process. Those are worth knowing about before you need them.

Questions to ask before you start

Most therapists offer a short call or first meeting before you commit. It is a good time to ask:

  • Have you worked with police officers or staff before?
  • How do you work with trauma, and do I have to describe incidents in detail?
  • Do you have any link to my force, or to a provider it contracts?
  • Who will know I am coming, and what goes in your notes?
  • Do you offer online sessions?
  • What happens if I find it is not working?

How someone answers matters as much as what they say. You are looking for someone who is open, straightforward and comfortable being asked.

What the first sessions are like

The first session is usually about getting to know you. The therapist will ask what has brought you, how things are affecting you, and what you hope will change. You don't need to tell them about every job, or any job in detail, straight away. You set the pace.

If the work is trauma-focused, the early sessions often build ways of settling yourself before any difficult memories are touched. With EMDR, there are even ways of working that need little or no detail, which EMDR without talking about the trauma explains.

Research on therapy consistently finds that the relationship between client and therapist is one of the strongest predictors of how well it goes (Flückiger and colleagues, 2018). If after a few sessions it doesn't feel right, it is fine to say so, and fine to look for someone else. That isn't failure. It is part of finding help that works.

Frequently asked questions

Do I have to tell my force I'm seeing a counsellor?

If you arrange counselling privately, it is generally your choice whether to tell anyone. Check any declarations your role requires, and see the confidentiality guide linked above for the details.

Can police staff and volunteers get support too?

Yes. Police Care UK supports police staff and volunteers as well as officers, and force wellbeing services usually cover staff.

Is counselling different from EMDR?

Counselling is a broad term for talking therapy. EMDR is a specific, structured treatment for traumatic memories. Some therapists, including me, offer both, and many people benefit from a mix.

What if I'm not sure it's PTSD?

You don't need a diagnosis to have counselling. Stress, burnout, guilt, sleep problems and the strain the job puts on relationships are all good reasons to talk to someone. PTSD in emergency services workers can help you make sense of what you are noticing.

Talking to someone

I'm a BACP registered counsellor offering person centred counselling and EMDR therapy in Nottingham and online. I've worked with police officers who have been exposed to many traumatic incidents over their careers. If you would like to ask whether I might be the right fit, you can get in touch before committing to anything.

Sources

More about person centred counselling